X3 I'm going to Izumi-con on Friday and I can hardly wait! Of COURSE it had to be on the week that I have one million things to do for school. x_x It's been a CHALLENGE getting myself to concentrate, so this had better be worth it.

I'm sure that it will, though... Know why? BECUASE... after months of whining and pining, I'm finally going to be able to cosplay Itsuki. The best part is--I'm going to have a Sensui. XD Oh the fun. *claps hands*

The convention center is beautiful too. x_x Plenty of photo opportunities. Hopefully I'll get the chance to take lots. AGH. I AM SO EXCITED. WHY CAN'T IT BE FRIDAY YET? *flails* ._. A pity I can only go for one day. *glares at job* Meanie-stinky-doo-doo-faces.

The end. =3

I do apologize for the emo-tastic journal entry before. I keep telling myself that I need to NOT update stuff at night because the sun has set and my melatonin levels are low, hence I'm tired and not nearly as positive and perky as usual. XD The end.

Oh...and I thought that I might note that...

I FINALLY GOT MY ITSUKI WIG IN! X3 Itsuki as in... Yu Yu Hakusho Itsuki. I'm cosplaying him for the next convention that I go to--which should be Izumi-con unless things go differently. I am SO excited! ^___^

And yeah. That's it. o_O; The end?

-Madam Airlock-

There are just sometimes when I feel like that I have nothing left to give. I try and I try. When I feel that I'm doing something wrong, I change it. At least... I think that I do. I'm not perfect, nor do I strive to be...

Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Maybe I'm a people pleaser and maybe I need to stop. I know that being someone like that never works. Ever. But at the same time, am I really that?

It just feels as though I get walked on wherever I go by at least one person. Someone with a dominating personality overshadows me or someone with personal insecurities drag me down to the ground.

I just can't win. It frustrating and I hate it. I hate this feeling. I hate the emptiness. I hate defeat. I'm so tired of getting close to people and then realizing too late that it was a mistake. A huge mistake. I hate it. I've often wondered if I should just go at life alone; that maybe I would be better off.

Then, I know that secluding myself is also a mistake. One that I resolved never to make again. I guess that sometimes love or companionship is worth the pain. I would have never met some of the wonderful people that I know now by being cold and unfeeling.

Cold and unfeeling... No. That isn't who I am, nor is it who I represent.

I'm just... weary. It hurts more than words can describe.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This song by Celine Dion sums it all up.

I Got Nothin' Left
Celine Dion

Anybody ever tell you that you're not whole
A hollow shell of man without a soul
Never ever felt your warmth cause you're always cold
Only thing that makes sense is letting go

Anybody ever tell you that you've got nerve
Treatin' my love like just another word
Tired of giving love to you that you don't deserve
So this is one way of saying it's over

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left

Anybody ever tell you that you're gonna learn
Trust and respect are two things you must earn
When it came to lovin' me you just weren't concerned
You never gave a damn so I guess now it's my turn

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left

So done with you
Maybe we're through
So done with you

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worthless
So I got nothing left


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sorry for the emo-tyme rant. ._. I just needed to get that off of my chest.

-Madam Airlock

Dear Yu Yu Hakusho,

I have been reading your manga off and on for a week straight and I would appreciate the following. Please stop killing my brain with:

-Your extremely addicting storyline.
-Your very large demon monsters who haunt my waking hours. *shudders* Toguro...
-Your pretty bishounen who I can't help but stare at in awe. *sparkles* ... Kurama... Itsuki...x_x
-Your adorable friendship themes.
-Your never-ending battle plot...
-Your infectious main protagonist... =\

It hurts. No really. It hurts bad. Espeically Yuusuke's idiotic dorkyness that I can't help but adore.

Stop it.

No love,

-Me

P.S. ;__; NEVER STOP! <3

The end, right? No more BSG? But it was frakking amazing! I was astounded by how everything tied in from the past and aided the ending. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. What an astounding series that I had the fortune of coming across.

I really love how everything in that show had some sort of meaning and it all began with Hera. I can't imagine what the show would have been like without her.

And Kara... wow. She really was an angel--in all aspects of the word. I was a little sad when she vanished, but it was good to know that she felt accomplished.

Baltar and Caprica ended up being just... amazing. I was so proud of Baltar because he stood up for what was right and did something that didn't revolve around him. It ended up saving them all. <3 I frakking love Baltar. Helo was right to save him in the miniseries. <3

And finally... Adama and Roslin. I was extremely sad, but I knew that it was coming and it really couldn't have ended better. It was bittersweet, but I was glad that Roslin at least made it to earth and saw how beautiful it was.

I was sobbing like a little girl when it was all over. <3 Way to go Eike and Moore. You have successfully stolen my heart again.

*sigh* ... Well... Now what? XD

-Madam Airlock-